- my moments with music` ]] ~~

Friday, January 21, 2005

Tok to my friends in msn and the topic goes to abt finding a partner...

I felt Aunt Sue now .. i should blog something abt finding a partner..
I read an article from Michelle McKinney Hammond and i feel that it is very very true !

let me summarise the article ....

If men were like buses, how do you catch one?
A more important question is - how do you catch the RIGHT one?

Simple: You take only the bus that's headed the RIGHT direction.
Be truly conscious when we do the picking.
And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before its made on an emotional one.

What about love?you ask.
I'll tell you why.
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently - it just loves to love!
Therefore you have to point it in the right directions.

Whenever you meet a man, get a clearance, check his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.
Dating exists for collecting data.
A better design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage.
Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together.

Courtship is a mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather facts.

10 most basic in consideration , i am not picky !

1. Check out the fabric.
2 must have common interest and values and agree on the essentials ofliving day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same diet.You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues.

2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you?
The man who is right for you will pursue you. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends.
At the RIGHT TIME, you will be brought forth that man on the scene and he will find you. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy. Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want.
The man in your life should recognise you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man-your man, the right one, to select you. So relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found.

3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart.

A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear.

4. Check out his buddies.
Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together.
They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behaviour. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward.
Don't stay focused on the foot,check out the rest of the body!

5. Check out his relationship with his mother.
How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers,really don't like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.

6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut.
Check out his present his present family situation

7. Check out the patterns of his life.
Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? Broken relationships? Problems in making commitments?Mood swings? Is a problem always someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation?Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear,some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.

8. Does this man have a vision for his life?
Is your guy guided by a sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him?
A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life.A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever. Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from thes mothering burden of obligation he associates you with.

9 ) Complementary
Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts complement yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team? Do your futures mesh?

If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually,emotionally or physically?

Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? see the cost? Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too expensive!
The man should cover, protect and provide not only materially fora woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man inyour life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.

10. Does he have a healthy love & acceptance of himself?
Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his saviour or teacher. That is out of spiritual order.So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth?You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve.

If think you deserved to be loved, should you expect anything less from a man?
If a man truly loves you, he should be willing to pay the cost for the hand that they desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a ride in this life for free.

From time to time, your desire for love might have caused you to leave your heart in the wrong hands.

So , Never settle for less than what you think you are worth.

bleaH ~ LONG SIA ..

Anonymous scribbled this at 9:17 AM...